Divine Soul Merging, a T/A Journey and Super Cosmic Not-Sex

(Excerpt from the email to Chris)

“…Your Divine Soul came to me and said it was going to show me bi-location.  I was game because I somehow trusted It.  You. 

It took some time, however, for me to quit trying so hard and just let go.  When I did finally let go, the Purple got super bright and pulled me through these colored swirls of cloud-like shapes and then into what seemed to be a kind of big open space.  

Once I got used to it, I found myself looking at you, Chris, as you were sleeping.  

I felt this surge of Divine Love like I’d never felt before. I wanted to express gratitude and share it so I put my lips on your heart chakra.

Chris, it was the wildest thing I’d ever experienced because I could actually feel the texture of your skin against my lips.  From there, I felt these waves of energy that were absolutely indescribable and exquisitely beautiful.  

At one point during the experience, when I was interpreting the sensations in a sexual context, the Purple corrected me saying, “This is not sexual. This is Unconditional Love.”  

I felt a flash of illumination/understanding.  I let go of any sexual context and the sensations became richer, fuller.

 

The meditation lasted about an hour or so.  When I came out of it, I felt so full, so small (in a good way that comes from feeling grateful for an experience), so charged, so peaceful, so full of Light and so happy – all at the same time – that I just sat there in bed feeling the after affects and not wanting to reenter into my outside daily world…

… At first, as the physical after-affects went away, I projected the experience onto you, Chris the man. I hoped that you’d experienced something, too.  Maybe you remembered something while in a dream state? 

My fear of the unknown was in full throttle. I had no frame of reference in my past through which to process everything intellectually after the fact. The only thing that even comes close to describing it would have been a really great orgasm, but that would be like comparing a paper airplane to the space shuttle.

At any rate, I wanted verification, some proof that it had happened.  You didn’t make any mention of it on your end so I knew I was on my own.

Did it really happen?  The answer was ‘yes’.

Was it my imagination?   The answer was ‘no’.

Was it me projecting subconscious sexual energy?  The answer was ‘no’.

Then came the really ugly question that fear will throw at you. “Who am I to think that I can learn bi-location?”  

That one put a doubt in my head that I had to wrestle with strong and hard.  I kept coming back to the fact that something did, indeed, happen.

I saw the movie “Contact” with Jodie Foster that you told me to watch, by the way. It helped me because I understood her scientist’s desire for proof, all the while not letting go of the fact that she did indeed have the experience even if she didn’t have the proof to validate it with anyone else.

To add to my frustration, I wanted to do it again, but your Divine Soul told me I knew how to do it on my own now.  Grrrrr! As a teacher, I know that’s the best thing to do with a student so they really learn.  As the student, I wanted the teacher to do it for me.  Was I typical lazy ass student, or what?

The Purple did ask me to recapitulate the process I went through the past Saturday morning to show me that I remembered.  I did.  

I didn’t understand exactly what the big space part was, though, so He taught me in a way that made me understand a bit more on my own.  This was really cool.

 

I followed the Purple and He took me to a scene where a man and a woman were sitting at a table in a public restaurant, outdoors.

“Am I really here?”  I wondered.

“Yes, now pay attention,” He replied.  

It was all so clear!  My consciousness zoomed in on the man’s round face with a bubble nose dotted with some red spots where the blood vessels had broken.  He had light brown hair that was thinning on top and needed a trim. There was a bit of stubble on his chin.  His lips were full and slightly crooked in shape.  

Once I took in the details of his face, the Purple zoomed me in on the man’s forehead… then the area between his eyebrows where his third eye would be… then on his skin… then the pores of his skin (I could see the small invisible hairs there) and then… my consciousness went into and through the skin of his forehead. 

Suddenly, I was in the big space I’d asked about.

“Oh!” I exclaimed in wonder. “This is the space between the molecules!”  

“YES!”  (This was a huge yes that registered all throughout my body).

So, now, I had the teaching and I was on my own. 

Since then, eagerness and whispers of trepidation have been fighting it out. Every time I’ve tried to repeat the experience, my thoughts go here and there and don’t stay focused.  Irrelevant questions run rampant.

What about the time difference?

What would I be wearing?

If I’m in my pajamas now and I bi-located to where Chris is, what if he’s outside? That could be embarrassing.

Would I feel the cold?

Things like that.  

I mean, let’s face it.  If I could bi-locate, it stands to reason that I could create proper clothing attire for weather conditions, couldn’t I?  That’s why I say they were all irrelevant.  

It’s been a long while since I’ve had such a hard time maintaining focus in meditation so I knew it was ego-fear at work, doing its best to make sure I stayed away from the unknown.  I’ve been giving my fear to the Light and asking for transformation, always making sure I kept a little fear behind for myself.  (I say that smiling at myself).

Then, I’d ask questions that I’d already asked and got the same answers I’d already gotten, just to make sure I procrastinated enough to keep me from making that step into the unknown on my own.  

I mean, I had this procrastination thing going to an even higher art form than I normally do!

Finally, around Thursday or Friday morning, I was writing and procrastinating even on what I was writing about, when I felt tears running down my face.  I didn’t resist them because I’d been feeling a growing sadness ever since the Purple told me I was on my own.  They were the quiet kind of tears that come from not resisting.

When they subsided, I asked, “What is this about?”

I heard the voice of my own Divine Soul say to me, “Blah!  Blah!  Blah!  Talk, talk, talk!  You’re spending all your time doing everything BUT!” She let me take that in and then asked, almost as an ultimatum, “Do you want to do this or not?”

Something inside of me jerked awake very much like when you’re falling asleep in public and you jerk yourself awake.  I knew I wanted it more than the fear didn’t want it.  

“Yes,” I answered firmly.  “I want to learn to bi-locate.”

“Then, trust me,” my Divine Soul said. “I know how to do this.  You don’t need Chris’ Divine Soul.  I know how to do this.”

In that moment, I understood that your Divine Soul had given me a ride like I’d given you a ride in my MerKaBa. But, ultimately, I had to do this on my own.  No one else could do it for me.  

You’ve got to love the irony of how fear makes you look outside yourself for the answers, even when you’re looking within!

I still have the challenge of maintaining focus, but a lot less than before so I know I’m growing.  I can also feel all sorts of changes on a vibrational level in my physical being.  

I’ve taken my focus away from one particular destination so I’m not thinking about necessarily arriving at you as a destination.  

I’ve gotten flashes of feeling like I’m somewhere else.  There was one time when I found myself in a crowd of people and a man walking by looked at me with a startled look on his face when he saw me.  I’m not saying that I actually bi-located in those instances, although I can say that the sense of it, or the atmosphere of the scene, was distinctly different from what a vision feels like.  This felt palpable in nature where a vision is like looking at a movie screen.  

I’m trying to approach this with an open and receptive mind, without willing one thing or another and without trying to interpret anything yet.  One step at a time.

One thing is for sure.  I’m supposed to learn this because I was told in no uncertain terms that it’s part of my Divine Mission.  How well I’m going about it, I’ll only know after the fact.  How long it will take, well, I’ll know that, too, after the fact.  I’m learning patience on deeper levels as well as learning to let go of my fears about it.  I’m told that I’m already able to do it from a Vibrational point of view so it is just a matter of allowing myself.

We’re back to releasing fears, aren’t we?

I hope I’ve been able to communicate all of this to you in a way that it doesn’t go too far outside of the box for you.  You’re the only one I know who it makes sense to tell it to…”