Transforming Unrequited Love into New Freedoms

The 3 Stages of a Spiritual Awakening are clear in Maria’s story as she breaks the chains of unrequited love using the power of Divine Light Vibrations.

Unrequited love… sigh… what’s a girl or guy to do?

 

Unrequited love is a universal theme in our western human condition where love songs celebrate the pain of love.  This is what happens when we look outside ourselves for our primary source of love and/or sense of self worth.

I got a text message from Maria (not her real name, but it’s one of the ones she chose when she gave me permission to share).  I’d just met her a week earlier at a nearby thermal spa.  She sounded desperate.

“It’s bigger than me,” she wrote. “I don’t know how to escape.  I can’t.  No matter how hard I try.”

“Talk to me,” I wrote back. “What’s up?”

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but I’m in love with this man.  The feelings aren’t returned, but I just can’t let him go. I know in my heart he’s the right man for me.  Can we do a session together?”

“Yes, we can.   In the meantime, do the Basic Activation of the Divine Light Vibrations meditation.  Release the situation to Divine Light Vibrations for transformation into illumination.  Then ask two questions to your Divine Soul.

1. What is it that I’m looking for from this man?

2. Why do I feel he’s the ‘right man’ for me?”

 

The dynamic of unrequited love and projected human love can happen to just about anybody. The following night, I got a call from a man who had a similar dynamic going on in his life where the ‘right woman’ for him did not return his feelings. He felt like his world was falling apart. So, it’s not a ‘woman’ thing, nor is it a ‘man’ thing.

Your Divine Soul might very well guide you to handle it differently than Maria’s did with me.  I’m sharing it with you so you can see how the process worked for another person. You’ll also have an example of how release, expansion, and freedom within Divine Love is just one heartfelt thought away.  Okay, for some, like Maria, it’s a few heartfelt thoughts away.  Still, that’s not so far.

Here’s how the session went.  It’s a long post, but it’s worth reading because it so clearly shows the Three Stages of a Spiritual Awakening, and how our ego-intellect will try to hang on to the safety of past conditioning.

You’ll see how a spiritual awakening is NOT linear. We’ll move in and out of the first two stages until we finally move into full emotional freedom. This is true for a specific issue as well as for your overall spiritual reawakening process.

Stage 1: Fighting the Light

 

Maria started off wanting to explain the whole situation, giving me all the minute little details of her pain and agony over this man. Her goal was clear: Convince me why she could not release him. All of this information poured out from her head space where our fears and limiting belief systems take up residence.

I didn’t need to hear the whole story. Her Divine Soul had already communicated it to me vibrationally, but I was guided to give her the space to mentally ‘vomit’ it all out.

When she finally stopped to take a breath, I asked, “Did you do the meditation?”  I could feel she had, but I asked anyway. It helped her to anchor herself in that softer vibration of the meditation and move out of the dense emotional state she was currently in.

“Yes, all the time!” Her words surged forth as she sought recognition of her bravura.  “I do it whenever I have ten minutes free during the day. I’ve memorized it, too,” she said proudly. “Some days, I do it four or five times.”

“Good.” I sent her the Divine Light that she was so eagerly hungry for from my Divine Heart to Hers. “Every once in a while, go back to the recording to remind yourself of the rhythm and pace of your breathing, okay?  It helps you from going into the mode of doing it by rote.” When she agreed, I changed directions.  “What did your Divine Soul tell you in answer to the two questions?”

“I didn’t hear any answers.” She sounded betrayed and launched back into a hurried discourse about how she feared the whole sentiment was bigger than she was and how she was afraid that people would think she was a tart throwing herself at this man, but she knew he was the right one for her and there was nothing else she could do, even if he said he didn’t return her feelings, but she felt like sooner or later, he must return her feelings, but maybe he never would, but surely her love was strong enough to —

She was doing such a good job at letting herself get swept away in her fear, I interrupted her. “Can we go back for just a second?”

“Okay.”

 

Shifting to stage 2: Finding the Light (by letting go).

 

“First and foremost, Maria, how can this feeling be bigger than you are?  You’re the one that’s feeling it, so you’ve got to be bigger than the feeling.”

“I don’t understand.”

“If the feeling was bigger than you, then the feeling would be feeling you, not the other way around.  You follow?  So it’s impossible for the feeling to be bigger than you are.  Ask yourself if this is correct.  Yes or no?”

“You’re right….”

“So, let’s stop giving this feeling undue power, okay?”

“Okay….” She wasn’t convinced, but she was willing to give it a go.

“Also, I’m hearing a whole lot of looking outside yourself in this situation, which is ego-oriented and not heart-oriented.”

“What do you mean?”

“An ego-oriented perception looks outside itself for confirmation—for mirrors of its worth, for applause, love and admiration.  That’s what all our love songs are about, no?”

She gave a sound of agreement, so I continued.

“Heart oriented perceptions come from a space of Unconditional Love and are expansive in nature. They don’t need the outside confirmation because it’s life itself, in all its expansive flow.”

“Oh!  I understand!”

“Good. So, when you did the basic activation meditation, what did your Divine Soul tell you? What have you been looking for from this man?”

“I didn’t get a response because…” and she started to tick off all the reasons why she didn’t get a response as if it were a bullet list of perfectly reasonable and rational explanations. This is a classic example of Phase One of fighting Divine Light.

I gently interrupted.  “Is is possible that you were so busy doing the meditation, that you forgot to listen for the answers?”

There was a small moment of silence. A sigh of recognition and acceptance. “Yes.  It was like that.”

“Okay, this is good.”

“It’s good that I didn’t listen?” Her voice cracked in disbelief.

 

Stage 2: Finding the Light.

 

“It’s good that you can recognize that you didn’t listen.” I smiled. “The recognition of what you’re really doing is a big step in releasing old habit patterns and moving into new levels of freedom.”

“Oh, that’s true!”

I felt her expansion like waves of concentric circles moving outwards, very much like the concentric circles that water will make when a pebble breaks down through the surface.

“So, let’s try to open up a conversation with your Divine Soul, shall we?”

“Okay.”

I usually ask permission to speak directly with the person’s Divine Soul at the beginning of the session. When they give me that permission, I then ask their Divine Soul how I can be of service.  In this session, however, Maria had jumped right in so I formally asked her for permission and she gave it to me.

If the person has not yet opened up conversations directly with their Divine Soul, their Divine Soul will guide me on opening those channels of awareness.  Usually it’s in the form of posing a question(s) to the person in front of me so that they discover their own answers. During the process, I also hold a vibration of Divine Love, directing it how and where I’m guided to do. This bypasses any potential co-dependent relationships where they try to give me their personal power by waiting for me to tell them what they are perfectly capable of discovering on their own. It also helps them discern the vibrational shifts themselves.

“Maria, touch your heart.”

She did.

“Now, touch your Christ heart or, in other words, your Divine Heart.” (I was guided to use that terminology since Maria is actively involved with her Catholic faith.  Your Divine Soul will always use a language particular to you).

She placed her hand at the level of her solar plexus. See how she instinctively knew where that was even though I hadn’t spoken about it?

“Good,” I said. “Think of this as where your Divine Soul resides. Now, touch your head.”

She did.

“These are three very distinct different parts of your body and being. Your head, your human heart, and your Christ heart. Now, touch your body where the sentiments for this man live within you.”

She touched her stomach.

“Would love live in your stomach?”

“No.”

“So, why would this emotion be in your stomach?”

She thought about it for a moment. “Because I’m digesting it, aren’t I?”

“Seems like it,” I agreed. “So, this emotion isn’t bigger than you. You’re simply digesting it. Does this resonate as true?”

“Yes, it does!”

 

Going deeper into Stage 2: Finding the Light.

 

“Okay.” I checked in with her Divine Soul to ask what I was to do next. “Maria, place your attention behind your solar plexus and ask your Divine Soul to give you Its name.”

Maria is smart and she’s accustomed to connecting the dots rather quickly in everyday situations, but this was a huge leap outside her traditional worldview. She struggled with it, trying to find the answer within her ego-intellect. However, the answer can’t be found there. You have to move outside the ego-intellect and into the heart space. The ego-intellect catches up afterwards.

“I’m not getting anything,” she said after a moment of silence.

“Try to discover it through a vibrational sound,” I suggested at the promptings of her Divine Soul.

Silence… and then, “There is something…” She trailed off.

“What does it sound like?” She didn’t say anything and I felt her resistance. “Make a sound, any sound until you stumble onto something that seems the right direction.”

Oops, she went back into her head and her ego-intellect went into deviation mode with a question. (A quick tangent back into Stage 1: Fighting the Light.)

“What do you mean?” She asked.

I repeated the question.

“I don’t understand,” she insisted.

I repeated the question in other words. “Make a sound, any note to any song.”

 

Speaking a fear out loud opens the door to the next level of awakening.

 

Finally, she blurted out her personal belief about herself, the one that was holding her back in that moment. “I can’t. I can’t keep a tune.”

“It doesn’t matter if you can sing, or not. Just make any sound and keep changing it until something resonates. Like this.”

I made the most off-key series of vowel chanting sounds I could, changing pitches and vowels up, down, right, left and center. If I’d been at a karaoke bar, they would have booed me off the stage. After that, anybody would feel like they could ‘do better’.

She laughed and started to make sounds until she hit on something. “It starts with an R,” she said tentatively. She made more sounds and then said, “Her name is (making the sound of her Divine Soul’s name).”

“Write it down,” I suggested.  It’s important to write things down because it helps us to remember.  “Now, repeat it, trying to get the cadence and rhythm down until it feels totally right.  Your Divine Soul is guiding you.”

She did and, suddenly, she was making the sound of her Divine Soul’s name with confidence. The expansion was palpable to us both. This was her first conscious, concrete experience of recognizing the guidance from her Divine Soul. The guidance had always been there. The recognition of that guidance on the part of her ego-intellect, however, hadn’t been.

“Okay, good,” I applauded and then continued. “Now, ask your Divine Soul to show you Its color.”

“It’s white,” she said right away.

Her Divine Soul told me that She was showing Maria a different color altogether.  “White?  Are you sure?”

“Yes, because white is a very high spiritual color and my Divine Soul is very spiritual.”

“Maria, you’re in your head.” I said gently. “Go back into your heart space.  Okay, good.  What color—inside the white— is your Divine Soul?” Her Divine Soul urged me to clarify with, “All colors, and even those you don’t know about yet, are inside that white.”

“Oh,” she marveled. “There’s yellow. And a kind of cream.”

That was the color her Divine Soul had shown me. “Good. So, now, you have a channels of communication between your Divine Soul, which is in your Divine heart, your human heart, and your head.”

I didn’t say it to her at the time, but this is a basic sacred geometry formation for activating the kind of alchemy she was looking to do.

“Are you ready to finish digesting the sensation in your stomach related to your sentiments about this man?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Are you ready to allow it to transform and be free?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then let’s do it.”  I guided her through the Basic Activation of Divine Light Vibrations meditation. Afterwards, I asked, “How do you feel?”

“Much lighter.”

 

Moving toward Stage 3: Full Freedom in the Light

 

“Good. Now ask your Divine Soul to illumine you.” I waited until I felt the shift in her before asking, “Okay, ask your Divine Soul what comes next?”

She was silent for a moment. Then, a small exclamation of discovery erupted.  “Oh!  I need to forgive him.” She didn’t even need to articulate why; she just knew that was the next step.

“Are you ready to forgive him?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, do it. The more you’re in your heart, the better.”

When she went on to forgive him, and herself, the expansion rose up in palpable waves. I waited until it finished its course.

“Do you feel the need to forgive the others around you? The ones who were judging you?” I asked.

 

A quick jump back to Stage 1: Fighting the Light

 

“No.” She adamantly cut them out with a categorical, “I have no interest in their opinion.”

“Oh?” I gently reminded her, “At the beginning you said you were afraid of what others were saying.”

“No, they don’t matter at all,” she denied hotly.

“Okay.” Then, at the promptings of her Divine Soul, I added, “Since it doesn’t matter to you, why don’t you forgive them anyway?  That way, they’ll be free to forgive themselves for judging you harshly.”

“Okay,” she agreed.

 

Shift back into Stage 2: Finding the Light and illumination comes.

 

I held the vibration and she shifted once again into an even freer state of being.

Shortly after, she smiled. “I needed to forgive them because what they said really did matter to me.”

“Does it still matter?”

“I feel free from it.” Wonder, and the peace that comes from recognition, filled her voice. “It all had to do with forgiveness, doesn’t it?  Forgiveness was the key.”

I smiled in agreement. “Forgiveness is the key to a lot of things.”

“Thank you, Glenn. I feel so much better.” Maria was ready to sign off of the conversation.

“Wait, we’re not done yet. You’ve stepped into the unknown and our human tendency is to fall back onto old habit patterns when we’re not sure where to go next. Ask your Divine Soul to give you something concrete— an image or a sound or something—to remind you to stay in the new vibration and to ask for guidance about your next step anytime you feel yourself trying to take on the old habit pattern.”

There was silence.

“What are you getting?” I asked.

“A map. I’m getting a kind of street map.”

“Okay. Make a small representation of that map to carry with you to remind you. You can draw it, cut it out, whatever.”

“That makes sense.”

“And,” I added, again at the promptings of her Divine Soul, “anytime you see the color yellow and cream, these will be reminders of the new path you’re now taking.”

I quite liked that guidance because the color yellow is everywhere so she’ll be constantly reminded on both subconscious and conscious levels of the changes she set in motion.

 

Step 3: Full freedom in the Light

 

Maria texted me a few days later.

“It’s incredible! I’m free! I saw him today and there was none of the old knot in my stomach. He’s a nice man and all. But I know he’s not right for me.”

If you’ve done a 1-on-1 Divine Soul Session with me, you know each session is different. In Maria’s case, the entire session lasted about an hour. In the general scope of things, that’s not a lot of time to unravel such a tightly wound emotional knot, is it?

Yet the power of your Divine Soul Guidance… together with Divine Light Vibrations and some willingness on your part… makes all things possible.

I spoke with her a few days after I got her text message to ask her permission to share this with you. The publication of this is a signal of her agreement. The important thing is the insights to why she created the dynamic in the first place started to come to light (no pun intended) right afterwards.

In her words, “I am going to continue releasing everything because it just feels too good not to.”

Action plan cartoon: Ideas without action are just daydreams. Enlightertainment with Glenn Younger, author and spiritual coach on DivineLightVibrations, Inner Critic

In case unrequited love is keeping you prisoner, too, here are…

9 takeaways from Maria’s story of freeing herself from the pain of unrequited love.   

.

1. Open up a conversation with your Divine Soul. It’s easier to do this after doing the Basic Activation of Divine Light Vibrations meditation.

2. If you have difficulty, it helps to associate a concrete sensation with your Divine Soul to make It more real to your intellect. Ask your Divine Soul to guide you in this.

3. Ask your Divine Soul Its name. We cover this in Step 3 of the online course, “Meet the Infinite You—8 Step Master Roadmap to Personal Freedom.”

In Maria’s case, since she was blocked, I was guided to ask her to make a sound until it resonated. For those of you who work with vibrational therapy, or have spent time with the Step by Step Video Guide, you’ll understand exactly what her Divine Soul was doing.

4. Ask your Divine Soul to reveal Itself to you in the form of a color.

5. Once you have a concrete sensation, or something your intellect can hang its hat onto, pose questions and then listen.

If you can touch where in your body you’re storing the ‘problem’, this will help you in identifying and releasing the cause of your emotional distress.  If it doesn’t come to you, don’t worry about it.  Your Divine Soul knows.

6. You’ll know you’ve released something for real because the sense of expansion… or openness… or freedom… will be palpable in nature.

7. Remember to fill yourself back up with the conscious awareness of the vibration of Divine Light as you were guided in the basic activation meditation.

8. Once the release is finished, ask your Divine Soul to give you something concrete to remind you of the release so you don’t go back into the old habit pattern simply for lack of knowing what to do next.

9. Remember that forgiveness is often the most powerful part of the spiritual healing process.

Be grateful for the experience! After all, once you’re free from the heaviness of looking for love in all the wrong people, you’ll be well on your way to a whole new dimension of true and lasting love.

Make the power of Unconditional Love work for you. This jewel of a guidebook is just the ticket.

"Get the INSIDE SCOOP on how to manifest the life you want" quote for the spiritual book "How to Maker the Most of Your Earth Experience". Enlightertainment with Glenn Younger author. Spiritual Awakening. Spiritual Transformation. Divine Soul. Unconditional Love.

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  • Each chapter in this spiritual book gives you a key piece of information for understanding how Divine Light works, especially in relation to your own inner power.
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… extremely well written…

∼Jack Canfield (International bestselling author Chicken Soup for the Soul)

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Read more reviews on Amazon

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Let’s chat!

What’s your personal take on unrequited love? Or Maria’s experience? 

(My apologies to those whose comments were lost when I switched over to the new commenting system.)

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